Surprise. Life rarely goes as planned. And no one plans to wind up in a relationship that doesn't support them at every level.
Whether you are stuck in a relationship, a job, or a lifestyle that is keeping you playing small, you do not have to let it define you. It's easy to lose yourself in routines, responsibilities, and the expectations and needs of others. This can be a dangerous place. And it's a place many women occupy.
For some, all it takes is a little nudge to see their situation through a different lens. For others, it's a life transition that allows or forces them to regroup. And for some, it takes a category-five type storm to rip the blinders off, see the situation for what it truly is, and design your own lifeboat.
I happen to fall into the "category-five" group. Mine is a story of how not believing in yourself and not trusting your own inner wisdom can be one of the gravest mistakes you can ever make.
My work has subsequently grown both out of my personal journey and my role as a coach. I love that I am able to support other women and my goal is to empower to see, believe in and trust their own brilliance.
My work has grown As my coaching practice took hold and I supported more and more women to make job transitions, venture back into the workplace after children, leave their 9-5 and start their own business, or reach new levels in their organizations, I began to notice a pattern. Our work together, so often migrated into the relationship realm.
It was rarely about talent, skill building, or needing another degree, but more about what they saw in themselves--and often the greatness they didn't see--that was holding them back. It was tangled in what they thought they "should" do, the expectations of others, the hesitation in venturing off the traditional path or the voices, sometimes in their heads and sometimes in their own homes, that had them questioning their worthiness.
In some cases, it was a coworker or supervisor. In other cases, it was a past family member. And for many, it was their life partner. And over and over again, I witnessed a cavernous disconnect in the women I worked with between their proven ability and their perception of themselves.
The lives of the women in my community echoed the same. Whether it was intellect, creativity, past achievements or percolating new ideas, it was too often watered down or entirely discounted in their own minds. It wound up on the back burner or sometimes hidden away. These women were strong. They held high expectations for themselves, their families and their futures. But seemed in other ways to be rowing against a very strong tide.
Some of these women were in relationships that didn't take their dreams into consideration. Others were in unsupportive relationships that were stifling their growth. And some were in full-on toxic relationships--the type that used every bit of their energy just to go through the motions. It was like every single one of them had a giant elephant in the room.
And the truth was, though it was lost on me at the time, 10 years earlier, I had been right there with them. Right there living for years with my own elephant.
Whether you are stuck in a relationship, a job, or a lifestyle that is keeping you playing small, you do not have to let it define you. It's easy to get immersed in routines, responsibilities, and expectations and lose ourselves.
This can be a dangerous place. And it's a place many women occupy.
For some, all it takes is a little nudge to see their situation through a different lens. For others, it appears in the form of a life transition that allows or perhaps forces them to regroup. And still, for others, it can take more of a category-five storm before you actually rip the blinders off, stand in your truth, and realize you need a lifeboat.
I happen to fall into the "category-five" group.
Mine is a story of how not believing in yourself and not trusting your own inner wisdom can be one of the gravest mistakes you can ever make. My work has subsequently grown both out of my personal journey and my role as a coach. It is with great passion that I am able to support and empower women to see, believe in and trust their own brilliance.
See the brilliance in you that you don't see yourself.
Offer insights that allow you to see your own situation differently, create new perspectives and open up new possibilities.
See the big picture without missing a small detail. Sorting through relationship conflict is tough and helping you to eliminate the confusion is key.
Empower you. With the help of practical tools, practices, ideas, and resources, I can support you to see your way out of confusion and overwhelm.
Help you with creative problem-solving. I know there is an opportunity for you to shine in the midst of every obstacles and challenge. I love tackling problems and turning them into solutions.
Elizabeth Patterson Coons helps women achieve breakthroughs by sharing their voices and bringing forward their ideas. A champion for women who want to reclaim their personal power and play bigger, Elizabeth is Founder of Live Your Brilliance, supporting women to achieve support and fulfillment in their relationships, work, and every day lives.
Elizabeth focuses on helping women overcome relational challenges that keep them playing small. Her work supports women at pivotal points – especially those in unsupportive relationships who have a longing to form deeper, more meaningful connections and are seeking an inner foundation for taking risks and overcoming fears.
Through her work with women from a variety of sectors, Elizabeth focuses on 10 critical challenges that women most commonly face, including navigating self-doubt, tuning in to their own inner wisdom, navigating fear, letting go of criticism, and communicating powerfully
A certified coach through the International Coach Federation, Elizabeth has M.A. from the University of Texas at Austin and an undergraduate degree from Wellesley College. She has been trained in Tara Sophia Mohr's Playing Big methodology and is a certified Gaia Leadership coach.
Elizabeth takes a unique approach that blends inner work with practical skills training. Her goal is to help women who want to play bigger by empowering them to see, believe in, and trust their own brilliance.
© 2018, LiveYourBrilliance.com
If I had to pick my fatal flaw--and the list is competitive--it would be this. And, it has reared its ugly head in every corner of my life from about high school through most of adulthood. Self-doubt is a part of being human but knowing how to recognize it and piece it apart from the safety instinct or the noise of everyone else's opinion or just the "monkey-mind," is vital.
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Ok, so I saved one of the most important for last. Though I'll spare you the full CATEGORY 5 version, suffice it to say--and ironically, this echoes my first lesson--when your instinct speaks, listen.
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